Two things made me not want to go to this theme park just outside Bangalore. The first was – why didn’t the just add the two letters and make la into land. The other was a thing on the internet that said ‘this theme park has the lowest rate of mortality of any theme park in India’.
Oh well. We set of anyway and after a mission involving 2 buses and a rickshaw we got there paid our money and went in. The place was spotless clean, staff welcoming. Wasn’t going to bad so far. But we forgot one important factor – people in India don’t know how to queue. So after beating our way to a position in the queue where nobody could push in front of us we waited, and waited. The ride had stopped. No reason why just break time I think. Eventually we got on the log flume we were waiting on, went to the top and came back down again, and that was it.
We tried a rollercoaster ride which was rubbish, then tried to go on the dodgems, but women and men aren’t allowed to mix on it. Finally we tried one more ride only to be waiting in the queue when it broke down full with people.
So we decided to give up on the rides and go to the water park area. Surely this couldn’t be bad. First of all we went to the rain disco which was cool for about five minutes, then the wave pool which was like swimming in soup.
Next the waterslides – one of my favourite things in the world, simple, easy to run, surely this would be OK. Not to be though, I should have known. In fact we probably shouldn’t have bothered at all. We queued and queued but it was so slow. Few people had ever seen a waterslide before so were having to get instructions on how to go down. All the women had full saris or salwaars on so had to have a foam thing tied round them. It was ridiculous. We didn’t get on one slide. We went to a water park and didn’t get on one slide. I still can’t get my head round it.
Moral of this story: when in India, stick to the temples.